The Pursuit of Friendship: Part 1

APRIL 2012-CHICAGO, IL

It’s Saturday night, and Daniel and I sit in his car outside of my building. Completely stumped, I cannot understand how our 5^th date has come to an end without so much as peck on the cheek or a touch on the hand. He can’t possibly be interested; why does he keep calling?

I have known Daniel for a couple of weeks by this confusing evening.  He checks in at least once a day, and has started calling me pet names like “honey” and “dear”. After hours on the phone and marathon-length dates, I cannot get past the fact that when it comes to romance, we are still at the starting line.

“Goodnight, Daniel,” I say with a forced smile as I slowly get out of the car. “I’ll see you again soon.” I walk to the door and take a quick glance back. Daniel, still in the driveway, waves goodbye. A feeling in my gut tells me this is the end. I walk inside, whole-heartedly convinced this will be the last time I see him.

The next morning, Daniel tactfully explains that he is not looking to date. While my inner voice wants to scream “THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME OUT?!” my calmer, more rational side manages to muster up a response. I tell him that I appreciate his honesty, and would prefer us to go our separate ways. I explain that I am looking for something very different, and don’t think a friendship with him would be good for me.

Two weeks later I find myself in the middle of corporate chaos. I am working from home on this particular Tuesday, and am face to face with crisis. The day has been impossibly busy. By the time I look up from my computer, the sun is beginning to set. In a brief escape from my tunnel-vision, I notice a piercing stare from my beloved pooch. “You poor thing,” I gasp. “Gabby, I am so sorry! Do you want to go outside?” I reach for her leash and my blackberry as Gabby prances to the door. I have hardly looked at her since early that morning.

Walking around the block, I am amazed at how quickly the day has gotten away from me. What time is it, anyway? I wonder to myself, looking at my phone.

6:15-- my heart skips a beat as I read the numbers. But why? Is it because it is now 12 hours since I have left my apartment? Am I late for a conference call? Do I have somewhere to be? I frantically check my calendar. Nothing….

And then it hits me: my parking had expired at 4. I race down the street. This cannot be happening right now, please, let my car be there.

I continue to run as Gabby trails behind. Four more blocks and there it is: an empty parking spot. Sure enough--my car has been towed.

Breathless, exhausted, and now sans car, I begin to panic. I look down at my blackberry and remember the one number I have saved. I can easily go back home for my personal phone. I think. But who am I kidding? Four months in my new city, my only two friends are at work. Almost without me knowing, my fingers begin to dial. Rrrrring, rrrrrrrring….

And then he answers.

“Just when I was ready to give up…” says the voice from the other end. “…where have you been, stranger?”

“Daniel, I am sorry to do this to you, but I need a favor. I am having the worst day…” I say, tears welling in my eyes.

“Hold on,” he replies without hesitation. “I’ll be right there.”

Friendship

Minutes later, Daniel arrives at my front door. “It’s going to be okay.” He says with a hug. “What happened?”

I tell the story, but my mind is somewhere else.

“What a day,” he says, as he opens the car door. “But don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”

And as it turns out, we did.

In the midst of my most stressful, awful, day, I stumbled upon something wonderful. I found a true-blue, there-when-you-need-him, 100% friend.